Not what you'd think: Common scammer behaviors and how to avoid them

Contrary to what you might expect, scammers don't have a sinister or suspicious appearance. They pose as a kind person and try to become your friend. They build a good relationship first, spending weeks or even months building trust, sharing their story, checking up on you.

So how can you tell which people are genuinely looking for friendship or love, and those who are trying to steal from you?

Turns out, there are some very simple patterns you can use to identify scammers. Here's our team's top tips for figuring out if someone is a scammer posing as a new friend!

1. They aren't local

He's working offshore in oil. She's deployed in the military. He's traveling to do humanitarian work.

This is a convenient excuse to delay meeting in person, and to build a story to ultimately need money.

Remember: Meet5's main idea is getting offline and meeting in real life. For your own social and relationship goals, always start with IRL activities!

Common careers for scammers that we see are oil rig work, different kinds of engineers, doctors or surgeons, military personnel, or some combination of all of these.

According to the FBI: "Scam artists often say they are in the building and construction industry and are engaged in projects outside the U.S. That makes it easier to avoid meeting in person—and more plausible when they ask for money for a medical emergency or unexpected legal fee."

2. They move conversation to another platform

Meet5 has a strong moderation and support team, and when you do communicate on the app, we are here to help, to catch concerning behavior, and to catch scammers in the act. But if you go over to Google Chat, email, WhatsApp, Telegram, Snapchat, or other messaging services, the scammer will have successfully isolated you from our team.

The scammer will often have a reason for moving conversation off Meet5 which seems somewhat plausible, such as having trouble receiving messages in the app, their subscription ending soon, or having unreliable service.

3. They're conventionally attractive

Scammers typically use a fake identity with an overly attractive photo. They'll choose an image to appear down to earth, physically fit, and with a friendly, approachable smile.

While scammers often use existing photos they've stolen from a real person's social profile, with AI, they can also edit existing images easily.

"The criminals who carry out romance scams are experts at what they do and will seem genuine, caring, and believable. Con artists are present on most dating and social media sites."

4. They fall for you fast

While a scammer does take their time chatting with you, they will work hard to quickly build affection and trust.

The scammer wants to establish a relationship as quickly as possible, endear himself to the victim, and gain trust. Scammers may propose marriage and make plans to meet in person, but that will never happen.

5. They always eventually want money

An emergency will always come up. By the time they ask for money, you will believe fully that you have a long distance boyfriend or girlfriend who wishes to meet you, who insists they're in love with you, and who insists that you're "the one." So a request for some money, when they're "stranded" on their "way to meet you," when their wallet and passport are stolen and they "need" the last minute renewal fee, or any other dramatic emergency, no longer seems suspicious or even worth questioning.

What to do next

Okay. So you've been speaking with someone online, maybe even sent them money, and you now realize it's a scam.

1. First, be kind to yourself. Scammers take advantage of kind, good-hearted people. They are the worst kind of person.

2. Second, contact your bank or card and see if you can get your money back, or the receiver blacklisted.

3. Third, contact support@meet5.com with any details you have on the profile who scammed you, so we can take action to protect others.

4. Finally, stop all contact with the scammer immediately.

Not sure if they're a scammer or not?

Sometimes you can't be sure if someone is a scammer. There's one easy way to tell.

Meet up in person at a Meet5 activity!

If they keep promising to meet but always back out last minute with convenient excuses, cut your losses and move on. Whether they're a scammer or a flake, you deserve far better.